Category Archives: Rest in the Lord

Quarterly Reflections

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I’m not a consistent journal keeper. I’ve started and stopped, using various methods, more times than I can count, but a year ago, I learned about a new idea from Emily P. Freeman’s podcast The Next Right Thing, which is working very well for me — quarterly reflections. I actually call them “Seasonal Reflections” because I generally do them at the end of each season, but I didn’t want you to think this had anything to do with nature study.

The general idea is that you reflect on one quarter of the year, and write a short record. For example, the last quarter was the winter quarter (December, January, and February,) so at the beginning of March, I looked back over those three months and wrote about that season. 

Emily P. Freeman organizes these reflections as “What I Learned” lists, but I do something slightly different. I took her ideas from episode 61: Look Back – How Reflection Can Help You Make Better Decisions and episode 84: A Beginner’s Guide to Self-Reflection and made a list of reflection questions and places to look for things to reflect on. Once I have reviewed those things, I write a little summary of each month.

Refreshing my Memory.

To refresh my memory, I look through my pictures, calendar, to-do list, books read, and recall the memorable current events of that season. My photographs are the most fruitful place to review because they include:

  • Photos of milestones (this season, one of my daughters got her driver’s license.) 
  • A record of how I spent my time (several nature walks and family gatherings, I painted my front door and did a lot of yard work while the Autumn weather stayed into December.) 
  • Everyday things and significant events (we had a lot of snow this season, we helped my sister move, and Broke Neck, my favorite chicken, went missing for several days and then showed back up – I took a proof of life picture upon her return.) 
  • There are always several screenshots of things I want to remember (a book someone told me about, quotes, and Bible verses.)

I usually start by making a list for each month on scratch paper. (It’s so funny what you remember, or more clearly, what you have forgotten, once you start looking back!) Then I group things and start writing. What did I spend my time on? What made me happy? What brought disappointment or sadness? What did I learn? What questions am I carrying around with me? I have a whole list of questions that I consider before writing a summary of each month. I end each month by completing the line: “These were the days of…” This again is an idea gotten from Emily. When you have reflected on and written a paragraph about a month, you will be surprised by how well you can wrap it up into a single thought. Lastly, I record a Bible verse or quote that had a lot of meaning for me that month.

Looking back to better look forward.

One thing that makes this such a great process is that, for the most part, things are behind me. For instance, if I had a big project or a big decision to make during the last season, or if we had sickness in the home or were on lockdown, I can write about it without being IN it. I have a better perspective when I am reflecting instead of responding. Of course, sometimes I’m holding something close, and it’s enough to know that this is something I’ve carried for some time now and will take it into the next season with me.

This practice has brought me through one of the most challenging years of my life, but I think it would be enjoyable for any season. It only requires me to set aside an hour every three months to look back, reflect, and consider what comes next. 

A Mother’s Diary

I wish I would have started this when my children were young. I can just imagine how wonderful it would be to look back over a few pages that sum up each season of my kids’ lives, including milestones, things they were working hard on, and things they needed to work on. Frankly, that is something I would enjoy reading now as one by one they fly the coop. But the practice of reflecting to better move forward may also have helped me to parent better in some areas. Charlotte Mason suggested keeping a Mother’s Diary, which of course, could be incorporated into this practice as well. She said:

Every mother, especially, should keep a diary in which to note the successive phases of her child’s physical, mental, and moral growth, with particular attention to the moral; so that parents may be enabled to make a timely forecast of their children’s character; to foster in them every germ of good, and by prompt precautions to suppress, or at least restrain, what is bad.” (Parents and Children pp. 105-6)

Get started right away. There is no need to wait. 

If you would like to join me in keeping a quarterly or seasonal journal, download the document I created, which includes the list of things I review and the questions I ask myself before writing my summaries. I also encourage you to listen to The Next Right Thing episodes mentioned above. It’s March, which means the winter season (December, January, and February) is behind us, so it’s a perfect time to get started.

 

“So you can move forward with a little more confidence,
a little more clarity & a lot more intention.”
— Emily P. Freeman

 

Stuck at Home

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I enjoyed watching a Northern Flicker on the bare little dogwood through the sunroom window.

I enjoyed watching a Northern Flicker
on the bare little dogwood
through the sunroom window.

I have been practicing what I preach, by doing a little nature study out the window! It’s been dreadfully cold and snowy here this week, as it has been over a good portion of the Eastern US, and we have had the pleasure of being stuck at home for an entire week.

My dear friend Liz, from the LivingBooks Library, always says that you should try to schedule to be home three days in a row each week. I have never really understood how valuable that can be until this week. What I finally realized is that when you go out every other day, or some such schedule, your days at home are partly just rebounding. Your brain is in recovery mode from all the running around. Given a few days at home in a row you begin to be fruitful. A drawer gets cleaned out here, a closet there, a nature painting is completed, and the classical music playing in the background doesn’t feel forced. You aren’t recovering from the last thing, and you aren’t worrying about the next thing. You can just be here now.

There is one quality that characterizes all of us who deal with the science of the earth and its life -- we are never board. - Rachel Carson

There is one quality that characterizes all of us who deal with the science of the earth and its life — we are never board.
– Rachel Carson

Before I cancel every lesson we have scheduled for the rest of the school year, however, I remember a valuable tidbit I got from the book Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne. I read it years ago, and I’ll admit that I didn’t finish it, but the main thing I took away from it was that you don’t have to cancel everything indefinitely. Sometimes you just need a few days to recoup. This time at home has let me recoup a peace of mind that I was seriously lacking last week.

Tomorrow it is supposed to rain, which will melt all the snow and our family will be in motion again. Like many families, spring is unreasonably busy for us. Maybe this unforeseen break in our schedule will allow me to approach it with a greater level of serenity though.

I should mention that we did complete our entire school schedule this week, and because we have our act together in that department, there was still ample time for sledding!

Related:

Ten Years In Review

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I thought of titling this post “How I Came to Homeschool Using the Charlotte Mason Method”, but it took on a life of it’s own as I wrote. I hope that by hearing my story, you might consider embracing Mason’s methods completely and fully, even without the desperate necessity that brought me to that place.

It was assumed in our home that any children we had would be homeschooled, but when my first child was about to start kindergarten, I went to check out the local private school. I was getting cold feet! Thankfully, my husband recognized what was going on. I can remember the time and place and his words of encouragement like they were said yesterday, even though it was really 10 years ago. It was all I needed to commit to homeschooling.

Part of the reason I was experiencing the cold feet syndrome was because my son was showing signs of being “behind”. I find it ironic now that I could have thought a five year old behind in his education, but the fact is that he could not remember any of his letters, and his speech was so bad that only his dad and I could understand him.  I intend to write a lot more about homeschooling this particular child, because he hasn’t exactly caught up yet, but it’s made for a very interesting road to travel.
I didn’t start out homeschooling in the Charlotte Mason way, but rather with the boxed curriculum called SonLight. Our first two years homeschooling this way were great. Knowing what I know now, I realize that it was just us getting our feet wet. I had a public school education, and this box seemed to have such great books. It was sort-of a transition for me. I have a friend that says, “Don’t let what is good, get in the way of what is best,” and I think this describes what was going on in our home at this point. SonLight was good, but there was a best way which I just didn’t know about yet.

Things came to a head when our year-three box arrived. All of a sudden the books had been “dumbed-down”. I was so offended by the quality that I started looking elsewhere. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that the change in the boxed curriculum was caused by the assumed level of the student. At this point most students would be reading their own material, and hence the need to have easier reading material. I now know that there is much better material out there for beginning readers, and the transition can be far more seamless.

Most of the people I talk to who make a transition from another method of homeschooling to Charlotte Mason’s way, have first taken an interest in Nature Study or some of the perceived extra curricular activities. (I say perceived, because they are, in fact, NOT extra curricular.) However, for us it was the living books that sealed the deal. If my son could have read the proposed level-three texts included in the boxed curriculum, I might have been duped into continuing to homeschool that way, but he still wasn’t reading at all. He could understand everything I read to him, however, so I knew I must keep reading good books to him, not the dumbed-down version.

Incorporating all of the areas of study was a gradual thing for us, because the paradigm shift was so massive. As I mentioned, I was publicly educated, and this was so very different. Not to mention that there were about 18 subjects! We just added something new every few months, and our education took off. That wasn’t a typo – it really was both my son and I who were being educated! I used to proudly tease, “I’m in the third grade now.”

I haven’t mentioned my other children yet, because there was a four year gap between my first two. I wasn’t needing to specifically homeschool the little girls yet, so they were just along for the ride at this point.

The next year things changed drastically. I am one of 11 children, 9 of which were adopted, and the last three were in the grades 4, 5 and 6 that year. Sixth grade in our region means going to “middle school” with other 6th through 8th graders. It’s an odd time in a child’s life with the struggle for independence and the large emphasis placed on friends. They are changing classes for the first time, and the school work gets harder. It’s an extremely hard place for any child, but for kids who have only recently been adopted, it’s even worse. These last three kids had been in my parents home for about two years at that time, but their adoptions were only finalized six month before. My parents had always homeschooled their adopted middleschoolers, but they had just moved across the country from California, and they had hoped things would be different in a Northeast Tennessee school. As it turns out, the 3000 mile trek didn’t equal a trip back in time, however, and Ronnie, the sixth grader, was failing every single one of his classes. Britany wasn’t even in middle school yet, but she was already having some serious social problems. So, my mom asked me to homeschool the two of them, and then a year later the third.

I was concerned at first, because my mom is a teacher. When I had begun homeschooling, she bought me a copy of What Your Kindergartner Should Know, which I had departed from a long time ago. I was well on my way to homeschooling Charlotte Mason’s way at this point, and although I knew deep in my soul that it was the right way for us to proceed, I couldn’t begin to explain the why or how of it, much less defend it. What if she insisted on report cards, or a traditional lesson plan?  Well, I didn’t have to worry for long. I can remember trying my best to explain how we did things, and her responding that she didn’t care how I did it, just teach them the 3 R’s. The modern system had failed these two kids, and so the not-so-modern ways of Charlotte Mason were in. Yes!

Even so, over the years there were a lot of times that I probably would have taken the typical modern route if I could have. I bought a writing system once, but it was a failure, so we stuck with Charlotte Mason’s method of language arts: copywork, dictation, oral and then written narration, grammar and lots of reading great books. I bought Apologia science, but the kids failed most of the tests, so I had to figure out how to do that Charlotte Mason’s way too. There were many times when I attended the local Charlotte Mason Support Group meetings with a list of questions in hand, desperate to know how to implement her principles. Only recently have I completed reading through all six of Mason’s volumes with that same faithful support group, and I have attended four ChildLight/Charlotte Mason Institute conferences with many of them, which has been a massive boost to my abilities as a CM teacher. We have learned so much together, and they have made it possible for me to keep my chin up when I didn’t know how I was going to come through for these kids.

In the end, I think we have been extremely blessed by the fact that I was forced to homeschool Charlotte Mason’s way. There was another conversation with my husband, again I remember the time and the place, and this time my words. I had just realized that it did not matter what any of the kids in my flock did when they grew up, they would have the tools to succeed to their greatest potential. They were becoming interested in learning and they were becoming thinking people. Do you realize how rare a thinking young person is these days?

Today I only have my three kids and Lizzie left, and Lizzie will graduate this Spring. My little girls, as I refer to them, are receiving a great blessing from the education I have received over the last 10 years regarding how to implement a Charlotte Mason style education. I watch them them learn, without any impediments, without learning difficulties, without any holdups by me not embracing the method, without modern methods thrown in here or there to confuse things. They just learn, at their level, in peace.

If you would like to know more about the kids progress over the years, stay tuned, or subscribe to this blog. I am working on several posts about how this style of homeschooling was healing to their minds and their hearts.